I think I am failing. My pride, a lack of money keeps me here and the fact that I really want to succeed at this (mostly pride though), but I fear that the kids will suffer in the long run because of my attitude. I am really trying not to have a negative attitude and most things I say are said in light tones so that people do not suspect; but today was just a horrible day and I might have said a thing or two that might have tipped them off finally. I don’t really know how to describe it for people to understand, but the kids were just awful today. Time, time, time…I feel so guilty. All the money they have spent on me and the time wasted-all because I forgot how much I really hate the kindergarten age group.
In other news I got paid for the few days I was here in February for training and such. They have also taken my passport to send to whatever government offices issue an Alien Registration Card. I really, really, hate the fact they couldn’t send a copy of my passport; I don’t feel safe without it, but it ensures them I am here for at least another two weeks. Since I can’t go anywhere without it.
Cass, it's hard to fail at something you've just started. Obviously, I don't know the exact conditions, but there's a period of adjustment and you haven't reached the point where you should be adjusted yet so don't be so hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteAlso, horrible days happen, as I'm sure you're already aware, so the best thing I can advise is that you try your damndest to leave it in the past and start anew the next day.
Also, thanks for the run down of your fellow teachers, it's nice to have an idea of who you're talking about when you mention them!
Deep breaths, you'll make it! I have faith in you!